As I contemplate the 4th station of The Way of the Cross, where Jesus meets His mother, it makes me realize that it was not only Jesus who sacrificed His own will, ego and body on the way to the cross. It was also Mary, His mother. Those who are parents can understand what it must have been like for her to see her precious Son humiliated, bleeding, weak, suffering and stumbling along under the heavy weight of His heartbreak and His cross. Personally, I cannot imagine worse suffering! And surely Jesus’ suffering must have been greatly increased when he saw His mother’s sorrow, and knew the pain she was enduring. Though this meeting between Jesus and His mom is not recorded in the gospels, the Church has long included it in the tradition of the Way of the Cross. Why? What is meant to be our lesson? I believe that in the fourth station, as we look at, and empathize with, Mary’s suffering as a parent, she becomes our model.

Any parent knows, though most often to a much lesser extent than Mary, the heartbreak of watching your child suffer. And most (if not all) parents see their children carry heavy crosses. It breaks our hearts to see our “little ones” (they will always be our “little ones”, won’t they?) carry burdens of injustice, bad relationships, unfortunate decisions, physical disease, addictions, mental disorders.

I sometimes wonder, “Had I been Mary, what would I have done after Jesus passed on the road?” I might have crumbled into despair, or dissolved into a disgusting puddle of self-pity. I could have lost my faith and trust in God. Mary did none of these. Instead, she carried His cross with him emotionally, if not physically. She followed Him, staying close to Him, offering her comfort by her presence until she stood with Him at the foot of the cross. It was all she could do. She could not change the verdict. She could not stop His suffering. She could not prevent His death. But still she stayed, offering her presence and her love. And after His death, she STILL followed Him by remaining with His disciples in the Upper Room. She accepted the commission He gave to her (and to us) to carry on the work He began. Is not that a good example for us as parents, no matter how old our children are? Mary is an example of faith that continues even when things don’t make sense, and the world seems to be falling apart. And she shows us love that does not give up, and does not dim, even when its expression brings with it a terrible cost to herself. It is an example we need to follow.

Lord Jesus, Help me to follow the example of Your precious mother and follow You even when it hurts! Enable me to be the kind of parent (spouse, friend) who offers others my steadfast faith in troubling times, and my loving presence in the dark valleys when my presence is all I have to give. Never let me forget that the cross is not the end: Easter is! Amen